Education and planning are the keys to making decisions especially when it involves care while aging.  You need to be proactive and know what resources and options are available.  With the education and a plan you have more options and can be proactive rather than reactive.

As Forest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”  This is especially true for aging.  In mid November I was fortunate to participate in and be considered a trusted advisor at the Minnesota Private Duty Home Care Conference, “Keeping Mom and Dad at Home”.  During the conference attendees were encouraged to plan the future as they would a trip, looking at what would they put in their suitcase for the journey of aging and be prepared for what isn’t known to happen along the way.

Conference attendees reviewed what is known about seniors and their families.  We looked at what is known about seniors:

• They underestimate their situations
• They don’t want to worry or be a burden to their children
  • So seniors don’t tell their children what’s going on
• They want their families help
  • Families often don’t have the time or the financial means to help
• Role reversal is uncomfortable
• They are fearful of nursing homes and moving
• 93% say they want to stay in their home

Then we looked at what we know about the families of seniors:

• They want to help
• They are busy; they are the sandwich generation dealing with their own family, careers, life
• They see changes but don’t know what they mean or what the warning signs are
• They may become frustrated with their parents denials
• Role reversal is uncomfortable
• It’s generally women who are doing the caregiving; Minnesota is #1 in the country for working women.

Consider what’s important to the seniors, what do they want for their journey?  It’s important to involve the seniors in the process, the plan, and have them agree with the plan.  Discuss their wishes along with what you think is needed.  What will provide them their security, independence, dignity and control of their life?  Including a mediator and/or trusted advisor is a good idea.  If they are resistant to bringing someone else in, discussing their options, or accepting outside help, tell them that they may not need this but that you do.

By being educated and having your plan in place if a crisis occurs means more options will be available along with decreased costs.  Being reactive at a time of crisis means less options are available along with greater costs.  Emotional and reactive decisions make for poor choices and actions made from regret and guilt.

Part of the education and planning means getting the facts.  Unfortunately we have been conditioned to think that seniors will end up in a nursing home; that an assisted living facility provides all the care needed and is often the only option; that home care is short term and the nursing home and/or assisted living is safer than being at home.

We need to recondition our thinking to:

• Seniors can live at home indefinitely
• Home care can provide a nursing level of care at home
• Living at home can be safer; you receive a 1 to 1 ratio of care versus 1.5 or more of care per person
• Living at home is affordable

Let’s compare the costs of home care options and assisted living rent and with home care options:

Let’s look at selling and moving into an assisted living vs staying at home with a reverse mortgage:

Details: Home Value $200,000; 80 year old (reverse mortgage funds available will depend on age, older one is more funds available)

Now let’s take the net proceeds and compare living in an Assisted Living to living at home with a reverse mortgage and receiving home care.

¹These rates do not take into consideration care packages or increases in rent charges so it’s likely that the number of years the net proceeds would cover will be less.

²With the reverse mortgage there is a growth rate factor that is passed along to the borrower.

³This time can be extended if you are receiving Medical Assistance or other public programs such as Elder Waiver, Alternative Care or qualify for Medicare covered Home Care.

You have choices and can have control over where want to live and the care you receive. You have the right to say, I want to stay in my home (or keep my parents in their home).  When educated and with a plan for the journey,  you will have more choices and life will be easier.

Additional Suggested Reading:

• “I Want To Stay In My Home – Don’t Tell Me to Sell!“
• “Reverse Mortgages Finance Home Care,”
• “Know A Senior Who Wants Security, Independence, Dignity, and Control? A Reverse Mortgage May Be The Answer!“
• “Reverse Mortgages Help Celebrate Independence.“

© 2009 Beth Paterson, Beth’s Reverse Mortgage Blog, 651-762-9648

This material may be re-posted provided it is re-posted in its entirety without modifications and includes the contact information, copyright information and the following link:  http://wp.me/p4EUZQ-9A

Note:  This information and these home care and senior housing figures are  reflective of costs in Minnesota and are a compilation provided by the home care agencies at the 2009 Minnesota Private Duty Home Care Conference.  They are approximations and can vary by company, agency, facility and geographic area.

Blog posts’ information is current as of date post published, program is subject to change in in the future. Contact us for current information, 651-762-9648.

This site or the information provided is not from, or approved by, HUD, FHA, or any US Government or Agency.